Light. The word alone triggers a powerful internal sensation, a yearning, and my mind instantly flips through those moments when lighting has made me catch my breath – the light in The Louvre in Paris in the section with the sculptures, the light at the Museum of Modern Art in NYC in the Egyptian room, the light in the Laduree dining room on the Champ Elysees, the light around “David” in Florence; all examples of soft, filtered, natural light – light that caresses and soothes the soul.  It’s a similar sensation to being wrapped in one of those heated blankets they give you at some spas.  My body lets go of stress in these light-filled environments – my shoulders relax and I stand bathed in an internal moment of profound peace and contentment.

In contrast to these moments are those where the light is brilliant, intense, and invigorating. Morning sunlight streaming through my living room window expands my heart and makes me want to get on with the day, makes me want to get outside and soak up all that energy.  My steps quicken, I feel happy, I could conquer the world.  In these moments the colours are vibrant and so is my life. My heart feels like a solar powered battery that is being recharged. This kind of light makes me want to live life out loud.

Sunlight can also mean warmth and warmth means lighter clothing. No longer bundled under the weight of mitts, scarves, sweaters and winter jackets I feel unencumbered. Breezy light- hearted clothing mirrors the lightness in my heart. This type of clothing requires less thought which clears space in my mind for other things. Sunlight quite miraculously lightens the load of everyday life.

For me, sunlight also equals freedom  – freedom from feeling slightly depressed. Freedom from the feeling of just going through the motions – existing but not fully living. Dark days weigh me down and make me feel heavy inside.  So when summer transitions into fall, and fall into winter, my body mourns the loss of light and my heart crinkles with the leaves at the thought of it. Fall is my most difficult time of year and I want to scream at those celebrating the lovely colours of the leaves and the crispness in the air, that something inside of me is dying a slow mournful death!

Hence I am heading toward the light! Being in Spain and Italy for three whole glorious months should satiate my need for the kind of light that restores and balances my life.