As the date for new adventures draws near (under two weeks now) my excitement is really starting to percolate which is wonderfully exhilarating but it is also tempered by an underlying nervousness which I assume is natural.  In all of my many years of living life I have never travelled for three months.  It has required some thoughtful consideration.

My brain, which tends to be overactive at the best of times, refuses to be quiet these days and is filled with Spanish conversations and wonderings. Wondering about how I will manage should I miss my connecting flight in London, wondering if my mother who has dementia will still remember me when I return, wondering about how I can manage things so I won’t have to pay so many foreign banking transaction fees and admin costs, wondering if driving in some of the bigger Italian cities is wise , wondering if I will make any lasting new friendships, wondering if I will be ready to come home at the end of June, wondering if I will fulfill my goal of living like a local – not rushing around like a mad fool trying to see all the tourist attractions – my goal of living holistically, of going deep as opposed to wide.

Honestly, it will be a relief to go and quell some of these obsessive thoughts.  I also make to-do lists and can only let go of things once they have been accomplished and permanently crossed off.  My to-do list is very full at the moment and so my brain feels full; it’s exhausting.  My daughter suggests that since things are written down I don’t need to worry about them any more because I can just refer to my list but that’s not how life works for me. Drat!

This is why I like calm organized environments – they help still the static in my head. Intricately patterned things make my brain hurt because they are so busy; it’s like they compete with my already overloaded cranium.  Meditation and running helps, as does sitting on the beach matching my breathing to the ebb and flow of the waves. Spending the final month of my adventure in Sardinia on all those glorious beaches should help me find the inner stillness I crave and I’m  hoping to return more grounded than ever.  You can be the judge!